Friday, February 25, 2011

Splatitudes 2.0

I would like to apologize to all of my loyal readers for missing out on the last few months of blogging. In the weeks following my incident, I thought long and hard about my life, and decided to get plastic surgery in order to take my life back and revamp/replace my missing eye, missing arm, missing fingers, and missing toes! After a long period of thought, a bout of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and a few months under the knife in Mexico, I think it looks great. Check it out:

Dr. Salazar created my new eye by molding latex. He says that it's the most state-of-the-art process that is performed in his field today. I love my new 'look'!

My new hand is also fashioned from the finest latex! While my new hand seems to have varicose veins- and a slit at the top- I think it's great that I can use all of my appendages again! My new fingers are actually made out of cadavers, go figure. I guess the best flesh for humans is human flesh!
I just feel great about myself. I'm still looking for a specialist to restore my toes to their former glory. I'll talk to y'all tomorrow, I'm gonna go try and get my girlfriend back!

1 comment:

  1. Krafft-Ebing recorded an 1877 case of a gardener who fell in love with a statue of the Venus de Milo and caught red-handed attempting have sexual intercourse with it. The man who designed the original dolls were sexually attracted to children, and his main agenda was to help others in controlling the urge for sex.

    Primarily these dolls are being manufactured mainly for pedophiles who want to control their sexual abuse of real children. Its proved that there is no way to change someone’s fetishes so sexual dolls help people to express their desires legally and ethically and it is not worth living if you have to live with repressed passion. Moreover, the seductive looks of the dolls make a person attracted towards it. The manufacturers of the sex dolls usually make the toys to look more attractive to draw men towards them and please them; the reason why they are tempted to buy it for intercourse and companionship.