HAPPY COLUMBUS DAY! WOO! DAY OFF!

R.I.P.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! Keeping with the holiday spirit, I'm being lazy and taking the day off from writing. Luckily, this also happens to be the one year anniversary of Howard Zinn's death, so here are some ACTUAL, REAL LIFE (as in, not made up, this shit actually happened) splatitudes from Zinn's People's History of the United States:


"In the year 1495, they went on a great slave raid, rounded up fifteen hundred Arawak men, women, and children, put them in pens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the five hundred best specimens to load onto ships. Of those five hundred, two hundred died en route. The rest arrived alive in Spain and were put up for sale by the archdeacon of the town, who reported that, although the slaves were "naked as the day they were born," they showed "no more embarrassment than animals." Columbus later wrote: "Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold..."


"But too many of the slaves died in captivity. And so Columbus, desperate to pay back dividends to those who had invested, had to make good his promise to fill the ships with gold. In the province of Cicao on Haiti, where he and his men imagined huge gold fields to exist, they ordered all persons fourteen years or older to collect a certain quantity of gold every three months. When they brought it, they were given copper tokens to hang around their necks. Indians found without a copper token had their hands cut off and bled to death."

More importantly though, NOBODY HAS TO WORK! THANK YOU COLUMBUS! ALSO, YOU HAVE THE SAME NAME AS THE DIRECTOR OF "HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK" AND "PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: LIGHTNING THIEF!"