Daffy Dahmer

Jeffrey Dahmer’s New Stand-Up Show is Coming to Caroline’s!

Some Hilarious Excerpts:

(Points out attractive, vaguely ethnic looking young man in the audience) “Hey kid? You need a modeling agent?”

“What do you call the acid-filled vat with several corpses in it that you’ve got in the corner of your bedroom? Good feng-shui.”

“I got sentenced to fifteen life-terms in prison. Fifteen. What am I supposed to be, a fucking cat?”

“It turns out dead people don’t make very good zombies…”

“How about some prop comedy?” (pulls skull out of knapsack) “Alas, poor Yorick…”

“Irony, ftw… I used to cut people’s heads open and study their brains, right? I got beaten to death by a fellow inmate, okay, and what’s the first thing the authorities do? They cut my head open so they can study my brain!”

What do the critics have to say about Jeffrey Dahmer’s new stand-up act?

“A delightfully post-modern and hilariously raunchy confection of edgy pop humour”
-Michiko Kakutani

“The most awesomest example of awesomeness I think I’ve ever seen. Man, I knew I was good at writing blurbs, but I think I just out-did myself…”
-Pete Hammond

“Jeffrey Dahmer really knows how to pick material that works for him!”
-Interchangeable Downbeat Critic

“Don’t get me wrong, I like to think of myself as a horror film aficionado- I mean, ‘The Vanishing’ was pretty awesome- at least the American version, I couldn’t understand what they were saying in the other one- but like, Dahmer might be going a little too far. Granted, I spent most of the show texting famous people like Robert Pattison on my blackberry…”
-Ben Lyons

“Born of an analytical chemist in West Allis, Wisconsin, Dahmer’s entire life has been but a prelude to this remarkably mature and rewarding comedy show”
-Robert Christgau